Okay, this is a little off-topic, but that’s fine. Like I said, I’ve got at least two years to ponder my next auto purchase, and I’m the type easily and oft distracted. Spare me a moment, if you will, while I drag my soap box into place.
Whilst reading a review on carsales.com.au of BMW’s estimable $92,800
520d Touring – the station-wagon version, for those in the back – I placed a comment at the end of the story, as one is able and entitled; somewhat trollfully, I suggested that Ford would have a worthy competitor to the 520d Touring if they would only build a Falcon Sportswagon, with LPi (like LPG but better – see below) to tackle the diesel-powered BMW goodness.
While my trollish baiting failed to snag any bites from the die-hard Holden fanboys or ‘dearie-me-who-would-be-seen-dead-in-a-bogan’s-chariot-sniff-sniff-pass-the-merlot-mmm-ta-dear’ Euro-fanboys, it got me to thinking: actually, Ford really should bring out a Falcon Sportswagon. And here’s why.
It’s been
well-covered in the local auto media that Falcon sales have tanked this year: barely 1100 per month for the first couple of months, and not much improved at around 1500 thereafter. A heavy contributor to this is the fact that Falcon’s old and popular ‘E-Gas’ dedicated LPG drivetrains have been scrapped due to new emission laws for 2011. Ford are working on the next generation, called LPi, which they are already saying is going to be pretty special in terms of performance – trouble is, the LPi systems won’t be ready for sale until June or July. With E-Gas historically accounting for roughly 1 in 4 Falcon sales, this is a significant contributor to Falcon’s woeful performance out in dealer-land.
The other contributor? In July 2010, Ford stopped selling their long-in-the-tooth Falcon wagon.
There’s a good article on carsales to be found
here detailing exactly why the curtains were raised and the shotgun primed for the load-lugging Falcon – long story short, it was basically a re-snozzed dressup of the cart-sprung 1998 AU Falcon wagon that, with the 2008 release of the new FG model Falcon, had seriously overstayed its welcome. Ford had apparently done their sums, and decided that the cost of rehashing the thing again – or bringing out something entirely new – wasn’t worth it when they could try to shift a few extra Territories or Mondeo wagons instead.
I’m here to tell you that was a mistake.
Case in point: Holden’s Sportswagon, the perdy-looking thing they got when they put a box on the end of the Commodore sedan. While Ford are struggling to push more than a thousand Falcons off the grass every month, Holden are watching their wares roll away at four or five times the rate, and a goodly proportion of those are Sportswagons.
Now unfortunately, I can’t quote much in the way of exact figures here, beyond what I have gleaned from various motoring news sites. I looked into obtaining some of the Federal Chamber of Automotive Industries’ VFACTS reports, in the manner of a true and dedicated blogger of impeccable research skills and statistical exactitude, but those bastards want thousands of dollars for that sort of detail and my journalistic integrity doesn’t extend that far. (Seriously, it’s a joke:
check it out. Who beyond a handful of media outlets are paying these sums? Who??) As a result, I can really only go off the volumes of cars I’ve seen on the roads – but seeing as I work in road construction and spend far more time than I’d prefer standing next to busy highways, it’s a fair barometer so far’s I’m concerned.
So then: Ford are soldiering on without a Falcon Wagon, hoping the Territory and Mondeo wagon are taking up the slack.
But are they really taking up the slack? Territory sales are down to about two grand a month, from various media reports, which is kinda low – yes, the all-new SZ Territory hits dealers next month, and Ford aren’t exactly
shy about promoting the fact, which can’t be helping Territory sales for the year to date. And sales of Mondeo wagons? In all honesty, and despite the fact they’ve recently become available with a very nice diesel drivetrain, I don’t believe I’m seeing significantly increased numbers of Mondeo wagons on the road as compared to this time last year, prior to Falcon wagon’s demise.
Now then, how many Holden Sportswagons do we see on the roads every day? Somewhere in the very scientific order of a “buttload”, I would venture. I might even go on to say that the Sportswagons seem to profligate to a greater degree than the old VT-VZ Commodore wagons ever did, in comparison to the number of sedans seen in a day – there are certainly a lot of V8-powered SS, SS-V and Calais V Sportswagons getting about and, in my humble opinion, they look sensational. Something about a family wagon, slammed low on fat wheels, with a fruity V8 burble trailing along behind it… very nice.
The same fancies are not tickled over at the Ford dealership, however. Okay, fine: the old Falcon wagon never came with a V8 (nor could you get one even if you asked nicely, so far as I knew); you could have it as a Forte/XT, a Fairmont, or a hearse. Those were your model options. Similarly, you could have it with six naturally-aspirated cylinders drinking petrol, or the same arrangement sniffing LPG, or nowt. That was it, back in the day.
And now? Well the new SZ Terri and the current Mondeo wagon are fine cars, especially as both can be had with its own highly-regarded diesel powerplant. But put them up against the Sportswagon and… well… something’s lacking.
It’s sex, that’s what’s lacking. Alpha Male buys a Territory: he’s advertising to the world he has three kids or more, hinting at the fact that he’s had plenty enough sex and doesn’t need or want any more of it, thank you very kindly. Alpha Male buys a Mondeo wagon… umm, seems a non sequitur, really. No offence to all you Mondeo wagon owners out there, but none of you really seems the type to punch me in the guts and then buy me a beer. A good thing, perhaps – nobody really wants to be that guy… but then, nobody really wants to think they could never possibly be mistaken for that guy, do they? Funny thing, gender identity. The topic of another blog post, perhaps.
Back to Holden’s Sportswagon: chock full of sex. Draped in it, oozing with it. Pumped guards, high window line, chubby haunches, subtly-chopped roof and abbreviated derriere – Holden’s Sportswagon looks tits regardless of whether it’s a poverty-stricken fleet pack or a top-line, blinged-to-hell-and-back-again salon star. Added to the look is the enthusiast’s knowledge that it’s endowed with rear wheel drive, which means more balanced handling, the option of throttle steer (whether to subtle or lurid degree, entirely up to you), and generally more-pleasing dynamics than the front-drive Mondeo. The Terri can be had with RWD in lieu of AWD, but even so, the thing is up on stilts and weighs two tonnes before fluids or passengers are inserted.
"What’s your point", I hear you cry? The point is, I believe Ford Australia have failed to realise that the buyers of Sportswagon-esque cars are entirely different animals to buyers of AWD SUVs or dainty front-drive Euro chariots. Holden are rollicking away in a legitimate and separate niche of their own, and Ford are losing sales as a result.
So go on then, Ford of Oz: offer up a Sportswagon of your own! It would be a winning car, and deservedly a winning seller. Sedan to sedan, at base six-cylinder level the Falcon XT trumps the Omega in oh-so-many measures: cabin ambience, handling, steering feel, power and refinement AND real-world-economy in the drivetrain – for those who must have a Sportswagon, give us the option of a Falcon Sportswagon!
The same extends, in many measures, to the mid-lux and lower-sports tiers of their respective sedan lines: SV6 vs XR6? XR6 wins. SS vs XR6 Turbo? I’d rather the Turbo, and unless you couldn’t live without that classic V8 rumble, so well might you too. Berlina vs G6, Calais vs G6E, Calais V vs G6E Turbo? The latter are all the more convincing argument, too – and would just as much be, in Sportswagon form.
HSV Sportswagon R8 vs FPV Sportswagon GT??? Just imagine it – a Ford wagon with a shakin’ supercharged V8! The knees grow weak at the very thought of it.
And the argument extends into the fleet-buying realm too, the field where the former AU-BF wagon was champion. I see plenty of company-car fleet-hack Holden Sportswagons getting about, quite often with Telstra logos on the doors. Do you see many Territories or Mondeo wagons thusly enscribed? I must confess, I did see a Telstra Territory once. I almost drove off the road in shock. Never saw it again… I doubt I’ll see many more, either.
The greatest key to all of this, and especially to the fleet market, is Ford’s vastly superior LPi system due out mid-year. Now for eighteen months, my company car was an AU Forte Falcon with the old LPG system; while it may have been down somewhat on power compared to its petrol-powered equivalent, it was still plenty strong, and for all of that it cost less than $50 to fill it up for a 600km tank.
Here comes LPi: optimised for LPG and set up to inject directly into the cylinders as a liquid, where the old E-Gas deal burped gas out of old carburettors, a dribbly and inefficient setup dating back to times prior my own birth. Running on LPi, the venerable Falcon 4.0-litre inline six is set to deal out 198kW and 409Nm via the highly-acclaimed ZF six-speed auto; these output figures match what the petrol engine can do on Premium, and it’ll still be good for 600-odd kays for all of fifty bucks. Sounds good to me – and Ford are ready to offer it as an option on all their naturally-aspirated models, from XT to XR6 and G6E, sedan and ute. I fully expect Falcon sales to bounce back past 2500-a-month once LPi hits the streets – indeed, the last six-months of pent-up demand for gas-fired Falcons will probably see the factory chugging along at max capacity for the remainder of the year.
Why not an LPi Sportswagon, too? The fleets will love it. Plenty of private buyers would also love it – myself chief among them. And it would be a handy point of distinction over Holden’s Sportswagon, which (according to Holden’s own “
Build your car” website) appears to be completely unavailable with a factory-installed LPG system. I thought they offered a dual-fuel option – only on the sedans? Well there you go.
So lift your skirts, Henry’s marketeers. Do some sums and build some business cases. How much can it really cost? A few CAD-assisted structural calcs, a lazy dozen-million-bucks or so to refine door seals and the like, some cheap-as-chips tooling… and hey-presto, an extra two-thousand-odd sales a month. A quick Google Image search reveals I’m not the first person to have the idea, either… so there you go, styling’s been taken care of. (Full credit to whoever knocked each of these up, too – they look awesome, in my humble opinion.)
And while you’re at it, Ford of Oz, why not drop a knee on a few Detroit-executive necks and leave it there until they guarantee full funding for an all-new, Oz-developed, globally-saleable, rear-wheel-drive platform for the next-gen 2015 Falcon? And perhaps keep crunching thorax until they promise to invest in downsizing, aluminizing and direct-injectifying our much-loved Geelong-built inline six?
Even with old-school port injection, cast-iron construction and enormous four-litre capacity, Ford Oz’s grandpa’s-axe I-six is a clear and equal match for
real-world economy with Holden’s all-new, singing-and-dancing direct-injected three-litre V6, with the bonus of an additional 100Nm torque to boot. Imagine if they were let loose with the funds to modernise the thing: downsize to maybe 3.2 litres, recast the block in aluminium to save weight, inject fuel directly for further improved economy…
It’s all a pipe dream, of course. The “One Ford” policy from Detroit, combined with tanking sales of Falcon in its only market, will likely spell an unfair end to what is a well-regarded, long-storied car. It would be nice if they could put a Sportswagon on the market tomorrow, but industry lead-times for any new model are typically in excess of eighteen months, and that’s after the big-wigs are finally convinced of the project’s worth… meaning it is likely just a touch too late for our grand plans. Still: it would have been nice.
Anybody fancy going joint-venture with me on a coachbuilding concern? Rebodying your LPi Falcon from Sedan to Sportswagon… or Coupe… modernised GT-HO clone… folding hard-top… hearse…
…folding hard-top hearse…? Anyone?
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